Children settle into nursery in different ways. Some are very confident and march in as if they’ve been doing it all their lives, others take longer to settle. Changes at home can also unsettle a child, such as the arrival of a new baby, and you may experience clinginess, crying or tantrums for a period of time.

Don’t worry! We’ve all been there. Whether our children have found it difficult to settle initially, or have gone through an unexpected phase of being more clingy at times.

So how can we all help your baby or child to settle and enjoy their time at nursery?

Settling-in sessions

Most nurseries offer a few settling-in sessions in the run up to a child’s start date. Initially these will be with their parent or carer present, then for a short visit without mum or dad. The idea behind these is to familiarise the child with the setting, the staff and other children; and to start to build relationships. Here at Naturally Curious Childcare we offer unlimited settling-in sessions to ensure that both you and your child feel confident about starting nursery. Further details are in our parent pack below…

Nursery key workers

Each baby or child has a key worker who will be their main carer during their time at nursery. The key worker will get to know your baby (and your family) and will soon know their likes and dislikes, and will have some useful tricks for settling them into nursery. For example a clingy child may like to start their day with a story in a quiet corner, whereas another child might prefer the distraction of a physical activity when their parent says goodbye.

But what if my baby cries inconsolably when I leave?

We all know how distressing it can be when your baby or child is crying, and this can be worse when other people are present dropping their own children off. The first thing to remember is that your baby is crying because you are leaving, not because they are unhappy at nursery. Generally they will settle down very quickly after you are out of sight; although this doesn’t make it any easier at the time!

If you’re not convinced then do what some of our parents do and pop back for a sneaky peek ten minutes after you’ve “officially” left: 9 times out of 10 you’ll find your baby or child happily playing and getting on with nursery life

Making the goodbyes easier

Here are 5 tips for making the goodbyes easier. You should find one that works with your baby or child!

1. Take advantage of settling-in sessions. Familiarising a baby or child with the nursery when you are present gives them confidence that it’s a good place to be. Help them build a relationship with their key worker by leading by example.
2. Arrive early. It’s inevitable that when you are in a rush the goodbyes will take longer! Therefore if you know that your child is likely to need a bit more reassurance try to build time for this. It can be easier to settle an upset child in a quieter environment before everyone else arrives, or conversely to wait until later when other parents have dropped off and everyone else is settled for the day.
3. Use the “plaster approach”. A quick, decisive goodbye is often better than a long, drawn out farewell! Returning for “just another kiss or cuddle” protracts the process and makes it unclear whether you are going or not.
4. Have a goodbye routine. Babies and children like to know where they stand and what is coming next, so a goodbye routine is reassuring. We’ve always done “a kiss, an Eskimo kiss and a big hug” to say goodbye. Remember to let them know when you’re coming back too, “see you at teatime” or “after story time”.
5. Never sneak away without saying goodbye. Tempting though it may be to avoid a scene it’s not a great idea to leave without saying goodbye. Consider how you would feel if you thought your parent was still in the room and discovered they had left without a goodbye.

What works for you? We would love to hear your experiences of settling your baby or child into nursery. If you’ve got a great tip that you can share with other parents, please use the comments below!