This week we are tackling potty training! The children at our day nurseries are all at different stages of their development, but inevitably potty training is something that happens while they are attending nursery.
Sarah Worthington, our nursery manager at Pebbles Day Nursery, has lots of experience of potty training and how to make it a positive experience for everyone. Here she shares her top tips and advice for this milestone in your child’s development.
If you can add your own tips or share your experience of this sometimes tricky stage, please add your comments at the bottom of Sarah’s post.
Potty Training – Things To Consider
Children are able to control their bladder and bowels when they are ready and when they want to be clean and dry. Every child is different, so it’s best not to compare your child with others.
Bear in mind the following:
- Most children can control their bowels before their bladder.
- Generally boys potty train later than girls and will have far less warning that they need a wee than girls!
- Some children will be dry during the day by around 2 years old but this is still quite early to potty train.
- By the age of 3 years, 9 out of 10 children are dry most days – even then, all children have the odd accident, especially when they’re excited, upset or absorbed in something else.
- By the age of 4 year old, most children are reliably dry.
When should I start Potty Training my child?
All children develop at their own rates and so it is important to remember that you cannot force your child to use a potty. If they’re not ready both physically and cognitively they won’t be able to use the potty.
Most parents start thinking about Potty Training when their child is around 12-24 months old, but there is no perfect time! When your child is ready for potty training, they will:
- Be able to recognise when their nappy is wet or dirty
- Will know when they are passing urine and may tell you they are doing it
- Have longer gaps between wees and poos
Other things to remember are that before a child is ready to potty train they need to have the appropriate language skills to tell you what is happening and when it is happening. Make sure that you work at your child’s pace. It is important that your child is curious and excited about using a potty.
How should I start Potty Training?
- Leave a potty where your child can see it and get to know what it’s for.
- If your child has regular bowls movement at particular times of day, leave their nappy off and suggest that they go on the potty. If your child is the slightest bit upset by the idea, just put the nappy back on and leave it a few days before trying again.
- When your child tells you they are doing a wee or a poo, suggest they sit on the potty. If your child misses the potty, just clean it up and wait for next time. Never tell off your child for getting it wrong, they’re still learning after all! If you make a fuss about potty training, children will often fell anxious or worried about it.
- When your child successfully has a wee or poo in the potty, give them praise but try not to make a big deal out of it. Don’t give sweets as a reward , as that can cause more problems.
- When the time is right your child will want to use the potty and will be happy when they get it right.
Common Potty Training problems
“My child isn’t interested in using the potty at all…”
Try not to worry. Remind yourself that sooner or later your child will want to be dry for their own sake. If they start to see potty training as a battle of wills with you, it’ll be much harder.
“My child keeps wetting him/herself…”
You’ve got two options:
- you could go back to nappies for a while and try again in a few weeks
- you can keep trying now, but be prepared to change and wash clothes a lot
Whatever you decide, don’t let it get you or your child down and don’t put pressure on them. Talk to other parents about how they coped. You also don’t want to confuse your child by stopping and starting too often. If you do stop, leave it for a few weeks before you start again.
“Just when I think things are going well, there’s an accident…”
Accidents will happen for a while, so when your child does use the potty or manage to stay dry, even if it’s just for a short time, let them know how pleased you are.
Even though accidents can be very frustrating, try not to show your child that you are frustrated. Explain that you want them to use the potty or toilet next time. If your child starts to worry, the problem could get worse.
“My child was dry for a while, but now they’ve started wetting themselves again…”
If your child has been dry for a while, either at night, during the day or both, and then starts wetting themselves again, it can mean they have a bladder infection, constipation, threadworms or type I diabetes. Ask your GP for more advice.
Alternatively, there may be an emotional reason. Disruption – such as moving house or a new baby arriving – or a change of routine can often have an effect.
The best thing you can do is be understanding and sympathetic. Your child will almost certainly be upset about the lapse and won’t be doing it on purpose.
“My child is about to start school and is still not dry…”
By this age, your child is likely to be just as upset by wetting as you are. They need to know that you’re on their side and that you’re going to help them solve the problem.
Talk to your GP or health visitor to get some guidance. They may refer you to a clinic for expert help. You can also contact Education and Resources for Improving Childhood Continence (ERIC) for information.
Sarah and our other nursery staff are always happy to answer any questions you may have about your child’s development, and share their experience and advice so please do not hesitate to speak to them if you have any concerns or queries. You can also leave your questions here, using the comments box below, and we will reply asap!