There’s lots of advice out there about settling your child into nursery; how to prepare them in the run up to starting nursery, what to do on their first day etc. But how often does anyone ask about how you’re doing? It doesn’t matter if this is your first child, or the baby of the family, those first days at nursery can be very hard for parents too.

In fact in my experience of running day nurseries here in Farnborough and Pirbright, that first day is much harder for parents than for their little ones. Yes of course there may be tears as we wave off Mummy or Daddy back to work, or to tackle an endless list of chores, but these generally dry up quickly as we get involved in all the exciting things going on at our nursery. It’s the parents who find this first separation particularly difficult. Whereas your child may miss you (you hope!) and feel temporarily sad, you may also be struggling with feelings of guilt as well as missing them desperately.

Tips for Starting Nursery

So here’s my advice, coming from both a nursery owner and a parent, for those first days of nursery and the next phase in your child’s development:

Feel confident in your choice of nursery. We know the lengths our parents go to, to research the best day nursery for their child. Countless visits to available settings, scrutinising Ofsted Reports, and weighing up the pros and cons of each option. After all of this you should feel very confident in your choice of nursery, when you find ‘the one’ you will get a gut feeling its right. Knowing that your child will be cared for, nurtured and encouraged to blossom in a safe and secure environment. Remember that nurseries are a great opportunity for your child to socialise with other children and to help prepare them for “big” school. They may feel a bit upset initially, but once settled they will soon be benefitting from their new environment.

Take advantage of “settling in” sessions. Many nurseries offer free settling in sessions to help your child make the transition to nursery. Use these to help reassure yourself that your child is going to be fine at your chosen setting. Nursery staff are always happy to answer your questions, take a phone call if you want to check in during the session, and support you in any way they can. Remember we’ve got lots of experience settling little ones into nursery, and helping their parents make this transition. Have a look at our Happiness Guarantee to see how we address settling in at our nurseries.

Take time for yourself. If you are able to, try to build some time for yourself to ease the transition between fulltime parent and your new arrangement. If you are returning to work, can you start a day or two after your little one goes to nursery? Use this time for a bit of R and R: or to organise yourself so that you can make the most of your time when you pick up from nursery at the end of the day.

Stagger your return to work. Is it possible to return to work gradually? Working up to your agreed number of hours? If you haven’t explored this possibility, have a conversation with your employer. Many employers will be amiable to this, a smooth transition back into the workplace is important to them too; in fact their cooperation at this stage will increase the chances of you staying in your role long term.

Support each other. As a family or circle of friends, it’s important to offer support to each other. Acknowledging that this can be a tricky time in your lives; helps to dissipate feelings of guilt or sadness. Many of us form close friendships with other parents through NCT classes etc., and are therefore going through the same stages at the same time; use this support network to discuss how you’re coping and help others in a similar position.

If your child has recently started nursery, how did you cope on their first day? Can you share any advice with other parents on easing the transition for both you and your child? We love to hear your views so use the comments box below.