Most of us have now returned to nursery / school / work and the holidays are fading into a distant memory 🙁 It’s been great to catch up with all the children at our nurseries and find out what they’ve been up to, especially what Father Christmas brought them, and it sounds like everyone had a wonderful time.

Amongst the familiar faces we have a few new ones, children who are just starting out on their nursery adventure, and this made me think that it’s a good time to write a post sharing tips for the first day at nursery

Preparing For The First Day At Nursery

Find A Buddy. Chances are that you will know a few parents and other children attending your chosen day nursery. If you don’t already have regular playdates with them, perhaps it’s time to initiate a few so your child will have a some familiar faces when they start. It’s always a good idea to find a confident child to buddy up with – a child who is happy to leave their parents at drop off – you don’t want your child picking up on any anxieties or insecurities!

If you’re new to the area, or haven’t had an opportunity to meet up with other parents at the nursery before, ask the staff if they can put you in touch with another parent with a child the same age who has already started. Although they may not turn out to be BFFs, it’s definitely a help to know a few other children (and their parents).

Don’t Overplay The “First Day At Nursery” Card. It’s understandably that you will have mixed feelings about your child starting nursery, and sometimes parents overplay the “it’s so exciting that you’re going to nursery, you’re such a big boy / girl now”, to compensate for any sadness or anxiety of your own. However, young children can find this a bit overwhelming, it puts pressure on them to be a “big boy / girl” and embrace this new development when they might be feeling a little confused or worried about what it all means.

A better tactic would be to treat this milestone as if it’s the most normal thing in the world. So instead of “tomorrow you’re starting nursery!” How about “tomorrow you’re going to nursery, then we will go home for lunch and have your favourite and later we will go to the park.” Make sure your child understands that life as they know it is not going to stop overnight with the advent of nursery: even if you’re returning to work and their new schedule will be very different, they need to know that other routines will remain the same.

Allow Plenty Of Time On The First Day/s. Probably the worst start to nursery you can have is if you are rushed and running late. Your child will pick up on your stress levels and the whole process then becomes traumatic. Instead get ready slowly, even if this means getting up a little earlier than normal. This way you can all get dressed, have a leisurely breakfast and get to nursery without a tantrum (yours or theirs!).

Arriving a little early at nursery will also give your child a bit of space and time before the rush of drop offs, allowing them to spend some time with their key worker and settle down with a game or activity.

Don’t Forget A Favourite Toy Or Comforter! If your child has a well-loved teddy that can help them ease into nursery, or a blanket or other security object, this is when they come into their element! Even if they don’t keep them with them all day their teddy could come for drop off and then pick them up later. Alternatively, a toy can also be “starting nursery” and this may help your child make the transition by having their special toy at their side, sharing the experience too.

Other children may like to bring something from home to share at nursery, and this too can help them settle. Having something to “show and tell” gives the child a focus, whether it’s a toy, something they have made, or an object they’ve found on their way in.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go? Here at Pear Tree we offer unlimited settling-in sessions. These start with parents or carers staying with their child; progress to remaining in the same room but not “hovering”; moves on to parent and child being in other areas of the nursery; and then to the parent actually leaving their child with us. This process can happen in just one session if your child is particularly happy and confident in being left, or might take several sessions until they are settled.

Of course, you may not have the luxury of being able to attend several settling-in sessions and therefore you might have to apply the “plaster approach” and make your goodbyes short and sweet. You will have heard it many times, but it is true that children don’t often remain very upset for long after their parent has left. There can be a few tears but generally they get distracted by other things and settle down quickly. For tips on making goodbyes easier, have a look at this post on Tears And Tantrums.

I hope this has been helpful for anyone with a child about to embark on their nursery adventure! We’re always happy to answer questions or share tips and advice here at Pear Tree, whether your child attends our settings or not, so please drop us a line in the comments if you have anything you wish to ask.

If you are looking for nursery places in the Farnborough, North Camp or Pirbright areas and would like to visit our nurseries, you can call the setting directly to book a tour. Contact details are on their pages.